How to Stop Your Toddler from Hitting

None of us parents want to see our child smack another child or an adult. It can blow us away when our child intentionally reaches out to smack someone and it can conjure up many worries for parents. We are strive to be the best parents that we can be and we don't want our children to become bullies, so what do we do when our little slugger lashes out?

From my experience, the first thing you need to do is stay calm. I personally remember the time my two-year-old smacked another toddler in the head at his playgroup. It wasn't hard and I think it was because this other toddler had really fluffy blond hair. I have to admit; I was embarrassed. I immediately apologized to the mother of this toddler, who didn't seem to even blink twice at the scenario. I thought to myself, "maybe she has experience with this situation or maybe she has many children who have done this before?"

As a first time Mom, I may have been a bit more worried than other more experienced Moms. Here are five steps to prevent hitting from becoming a regular issue.

Stay Calm

As expressed above, this is very important. When your child takes a swing at another toddler, realize that this is normal toddler behavior. The best way you can react is to stay calm, avoid yelling, talk softly, and keep your own emotions balanced. Toddlers notice how Mommy or Daddy behaves and they will follow, so if you remain calm, they will too.

Teach Them to Be Gentle

Toddlers want to reach out and are not always sure on how to do it gently. Parents can teach their child to be gentle by showing them how to place light soft touches on your arm or face. Keep saying the word "gentle" as you show them these soft and gentle actions.

Label Emotions When They Hit

Some parents find it effective to label their toddler's emotions after they hit another child or adult. If they were angry when they lashed out, you can say, "I think you are feeling angry. It is OK to feel angry, but we don't hit others." Or, if your toddler was just playing and having fun when they smacked a child, you can label this too. "Honey, I see that you are happy and having fun and enjoying play time. Hitting isn't a nice feeling for others, especially when everyone is trying to have fun together."

Offer New Language Skills

When parents witness their toddler hit another child, the first instinct is to take your child away. Instead, you can use this time to teach them how to behave appropriately. The next time they hit another child, talk to them and teach them how to ask to share toys or to use something. Simple phrases like, "please" or "give me please" (with their hands out while they ask) can do wonders. They may get rejected, but it's the taught behavior that will help out in the long run.

Praise Appropriate Behavior

This doesn't mean reward your child with a candy or trip to the circus. Offer praise the next time you see your child act appropriately with another child. If you have just intervened and your child apologizes, then uses the phrases that you taught them, tell them how proud you are of them - right there and then.

How do you teach your toddler to stop hitting? We would love to hear your comments below!